I’ve never thought of hope as an action, but these days it’s becoming very real to me.
This semester i’ve learned a lot about myself and about life
1. Sin
I’ve made a lot of mistakes this past semester; I’ve lived in sin and hurt many people. Time and time again I have allowed Satan to seal life away from me. I’ve lost sight of my Lord and lost sight of was what is even true. Beaten myself up for decisions I have made, and the things I have done. I’ve learned the power of sin.
2. Grace
“How sweet did that grace appear the hour I first believed” This phrase from the song Amazing Grace has become very real to me as I think about point number 1 and I consider the people i’ve hurt and the sin I have committed. I think back to that day that grace was so real to me-the thought brings me to my knees. I have been broken time and time again, but this time I have found myself broken to the point where it seems beyond repair. Guilt and shame has overcome me, my heart seems to have become like stone in many areas. I find myself unmotivated and missing joy a lot of days. Because of my responsibilities and pride I find myself hiding these things and just ‘dealing with it’. Some days things feel so surreal that I do not know how I should and it seems that love has forsaken me.
However, I know these things are not true. Grace. That’s all i’ve got on that. No lofty words or cheesy quotes. Grace. Just grace.
3. Hope
Like I said above hope has become more a verb to me these days. Death has become very real to me, and I have to remind myself of what Christ did on the cross. The hope of true joy and true love he has given. I say hope of grace and love because in this moment they seem unreachable to me. I think of the words of Augustine where he says, “the whole of a Christian life is a holy longing”. I long to be loved, I long grace, I love to know my Lord and for him to be my only desire.
Psalm 63: 8- My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me
Romans 15:13- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
To What you may ask. TV Shows. I’ve started a whole new journey of tv this Summer. I have watched 24 (all time favorite) Arrested Development, Heroes, Friends, The Unit, and wait for it….Grey’s Anatomy. Yes, Grey’s, take my man card away please….
24 is my all time fav but the best so far has been the Unit. This could become a lifelong favorite so i’ll keep you updated on how that goes….
what about you what is your favorite tv show of all time?
I’m excited for the Summer. Why is this such a big deal? Because in my eyes my Summer situation isn’t exactly what I dreamed of it being. This time last year I was in Montana. Enjoying the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen, hanging out with some of the greatest people I’ve ever met, and learning from a Church that I will never forget. (notice how that rhymed, ha)
This summer I’m in Belton. Belton. Belton. Wait. Not even Belton Really, Holland. Holland. Holland. I have to keep saying it over and over just to believe it. Holland is a town of maybe a thousand people. One Restaurant, two convenient stores, and…well that’s about it. A main road? Idk what else. SO how am I excited about this Summer.
Students
The Lord has Privileged me to run along side of him and show the Students in thie ity bity town just how wonderful he is! That’s what gets me excited!!
I’m sitting in Starbucks right now. Sounds pretty normal right? Usually it would be but the catch is that this time i’m sitting in starbucks with 40 high school to college aged skaters! I’m talking the spiked hair, tight jeans, the piercing, these guys are the real deal.
They have taken every single chair in Starbucks and put it in a circle with me. The Lone Ranger. On the outside looking in. Pretty weird, huh?
Just saying. Central Texas, Beware. Somethign is going to happen. Soon. They’re getting ready. To do what? Not sure. Just saying. Beware. The Skaters are coming….
One thing that I have learned since I have been in youth ministry is the meaning behind a “task”. It seems like they never end in your ministry. For example, right now I am staring at my “task sheet” on my desk and there are currently twelve of them, but the tasks don’t stop there. Beyond the calls, meetings, and lessons, and the big obvious tasks their are little task that you can’t really put on a piece of paper. A simple text to a student saying that your thinking and praying for them, and then actually praying for them. There are things that just kind of “come” with the ministry. Somewhere in the midst of the calls, meetings, and the lessons the Lord puts a love for what you’re actually doing in your heart. Someone once told me that “ministry must be an overflow of your heart”. I now know what they meant; sometimes I just get lost in crossing out a task and forget that their is something bigger happening here. With every phone call, every meeting, and every lesson; God is preparing to let his glory be shown. It make it all worth doing; picking up the chips, the ten seconds it took to write that text, or the two months of planning for one event. It all comes with a joy of knowing that if the Lord wills it, he will do wonders. I am thankful for when the spirit reminds me to mark out a task for his glory and the work that will be done in the future. Not evident right now, but with time, when all is said and done, Christ is heard, preached, and lived out.
!!!!